I realized a couple of days ago that spending time with these songs, whether writing, rehearsing, or sharing them, is nourishing my spirit. I've been "dumb as a hammer" during much of the process, but now I get to see and enjoy what's been getting pounded into shape. The creative work continues--nearly all the lyrics below have been tinkered with, and the musical forms are still fluid.
Friends and fans around the country (all the fans are friends) have been discussing the songs with me, and all they have is the words! They've been comparing, exploring, expressing appreciation and anticipation and support. That's felt good.
Now I'm stuck in the mode of the work in which I'm less confident, the fundraising. But there have been some sweet moments. Last night I sang about half these songs to a kind family whose support I was was courting. In the shade of their pines, in view of the Alpine mountains, with their newly born goats bleating on the hillside, I found myself thinking, "Wait! This isn't about gathering bucks to enable sharing these songs--this is sharing these songs!" As always, while the music is going I forget about the paycheck. Still, I'm several thousand dollars away from being able to share these songs on a wide scale. About seven. Thousand dollars.
I have a rehearsal tomorrow morning with my sons. We haven't been together for several weeks because one of them's been touring the West with one of his bands and the other had an extended gig in France. These were the weeks when most of this stuff was written. I'm excited to pass out some music and see what they bring to the songs.